Right, so seeing as no one reads my xanga blog except for me, I thought I would use it to note down my thoughts for my secret thing. You see, after 10 months of waiting each month, and ghost symptoms and twinges that I had imagined and god knows how many negative ‘peeing on a stick’ tests, two days ago I finally saw 2 LINES on the test! YES!!!! I still can’t quite believe it, after waiting so long, I almost still think I am imagining it.

It was the Wednesday 31st August, the day after Eid, when I woke up and sort of had a feeling. And Aunty Flo had not arrived. I had a stash of tests in my drawers, but I didn’t want G to know I was taking a test incase it was negative again and he thought I was crazy again. So I hid the test in my pyjama bottoms before I went to the loo, but G decided to tickle me, so I screeched ‘Get away from me!’ so he wouldn’t find the test. He must had thought I was a freak, what a great start to the day(!)

Anyway I peed on the stick, and one line came, so I thought, yep I imagined it again. I brushed my teeth for a couple of minutes, then looked down and saw TWO LINES! I screamed, ran out of the bathroom and hugged G, screaming ‘I’M PREGNANT!’, dragged him to the bathroom to show him the stick. He was very shell-shocked. He told me to shush and not to tell anyone.

So I went to work ridiculously happy, everything was sunshiney and great in my world. But then throughout the day I stopped thinking about it, as I could easily miscarry again, so I not so obsessing about it anymore, just in case.

The next day at work I was so unbelievably bored, I was begging my phone to ring and for it to be Ocado. Then, lo and behold, and 11.30 I checked my phone and saw a missed call from a 01707 number. Hatfield! So I rang back and they want me back for a second interview! YES YES YES! Those ladybirds that landed on me really were good luck!

Well that brings me up to today, Friday 2nd Sept, and according to my notebook, it’s day 16 and my baby’s heartbeat will start forming from today. Ahhh.